I am not a religious person. I couldn't tell you what I know happens once this life has passed, because I don't. All I know is the life that im living and loving right now. No mistakes and no regrets.
If I ever became pregnant I would deal with the consequences of my decisions and raise my child to the best of my ability...or if knew i wouldn't be able to fully support my child I would consider adoption to let someone else raise it to the best of their ability. You always have to do what you have to for the people you love.
So me and my boyfriend were discussing this today when I told him a friend of a friend recently found out she was pregnant.
Apparently it wasn't a planned pregnancy and my friend is hoping her friend will get an abortion. My immediate thoughts are "what the Fuck" she decided to go fuck dudes and just because she doesn't know who the father is doesn't give her a right to kill an unborn child. Live with your decision to not wrap it up or don't have sex at all you doosh bag. There are plenty of people out there who would give the world to have a child and you are gonna just kill it. That's not right.
There is one condition where I would understand if someone got an abortion.
Rape.
Even though I still believe everything happens for a reason, if your raped you should have the right to choose. Whether you choose abortion or just giving the child up for adoption.
I, on the other hand wouldn't have an abortion. Only because what if that man was sent to impregnate me for some reason beyond my comprehension. What if he is going to grow up to be someone who creates this spectacular invention that changes the world for good. Maybe he will be a united states president, the best one who ever lived. He could also grow up to be completely normal, go to school, college, get married have kids. Maybe he'll become a doctor and support his mama when she gets old and gray.
But on the chance that i wouldn't be able to live with looking at that child everyday and be reminded of one of my most terrifying experiences, I would put the baby up for adoption. Someone is out there who would love and care for that child not judging him every day for what his father did or was. Someone who has wanted children themselves for a long time but just never could.
When I told my boyfriend this, he told me if I decided to keep a baby from a man who raped me that he would leave. And I don't understand why? Why he wouldn't be there to help me through one of the hardest times in my life. Isn't that what loved ones are for?
He also told me that Hitler's mother was going to have an abortion and decided against it. He asked me if i would have been against that too. Well my answer is, she didn't and even if she had, I'm sure someone else somewhere in the world would have done something as horrible to another race or religion. Bad things happen every day, but you have to take the bad with the good. Good things come from horrible experiences as well. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Not saying that I like what Hitler did, because every time i hear about the Holocaust or watch a movie about it i ball my eyes out knowing the terrible things he did to people. I do wish he never existed, but who is to say if he didn't exist it wouldn't have happened anyway. I'm sure the world would be completely different, the smallest decision can change everything and since that was a big part of history, how do we know that someone couldn't have done something even worse by just messing with fate.
There are probably few people who think like i do, but it is how I think and feel and nothing or no one is ever going to change my mind.
I would like to know your thoughts on abortion. When do you think it's okay? And why? or why not?
I feel bad for your friends' friend. Unless you've been in that type of situation, I don't think you have a right to judge her. Maybe she did use a condom. Condoms aren't 100% you know. Maybe she does know who the father is. Sometimes it's just not the right time to have a child.
ReplyDeleteIt's easy to say "just give your baby up for adoption". But do you know how many children don't end up getting adopted? How many of them just bounce around in the system until they're 18?
Maybe your boyfriend just doesn't want to raise a child that 1) is not his, 2) is from a horrible experience. That doesn't make him a bad person. I'm sure he loves you, but you choosing to keep a child conceived out of rape may mess him up emotionally/mentally. People process things differently.
I'm pro-Choice. Always have been. While I don't think I'll ever have an abortion, I don't know what tomorrow has in store. Maybe something happens, I get raped or I get pregnant and my health is in danger, or the fetus won't survive outside of the womb... that's what abortion is there for.
Thats why I'm glad we are able to make a decision.
ReplyDeleteBut besides rape or health, everyone should deal with the consequences of their actions and shouldn't make their unborn child pay the price.
And as far as bouncing around the system, i have many friends who have been in the system their whole lives. They are strong independent people and are still surrounded by caring friends. Not everyone is as fortunate, but who is to say that if someone had kept their child, that kids life would have been any better. I would rather choose life than death.
I never thought my boyfriend was a bad person. My point in saying that was shouldn't the people you love be there for you during the hard times in life?
I think they should. But it's not only something that affects you, it affects everyone around you. Just like any decision. Maybe you're just a better person than most. I know personally, don't think I would be able to keep a child that was a product of rape. I don't think my fiancé would support my decision to keep a child that was out of something that was traumatic for me.
ReplyDeleteOne of my friends was raped when we were in middle school, and she still hasn't "recovered". I could only imagine what it would have been like if she would have gotten pregnant.
:-( I couldn't even imagine. I hope i never have to experience something like that, but i know that point is always brought up when ever the abortion subject surfaces. Questions such as..what about the health of the mother or child and what if the person was raped? Everyone has a right to their own decisions and rape is a tough subject, because like you said and like i wrote in my post, I'm sure the child would remind you everyday of what happened and some people couldn't live with that and thats completely understandable.
ReplyDeleteThe way i look at it is a matter of fate. Its my belief that everything happens for a reason and you shouldn't mess with the balance of things. However who i am to say that abortion isn't part of the balance. I just hope that people only use it under the right circumstances.
honestly, i always said i would get an abortion in an unplanned pregnacy but the more i said the more i don't think i could do it. Things happen for a reason, even if it was by "accident". What if this was a specific purpose? what if i never have a child again?
ReplyDeleteAside from that, knowning that the is something is growing in my body is so incredible. i just dont think icould do it. but i do agree, in a case of rape - i completely understand.
Yeah, I am absolutely, wholeheartedly, prolife. Getting an abortion is wrong. How could you kill a life?
ReplyDeleteBut you've enlightened me. I never considered rape. Yes, with rape, I believe you should defiitely be granted the oppurtunity of abortion.
I feel really bad for those who've been raped.
:(
me to. Its definitely something i never want to experience.
ReplyDeleteAnd there are other reason besides rape as well that i would consider abortion to be okay.
Health issues etc.
Ive always wanted kids ever since i was a child myself and maybe thats another reason why im so against it.
I'm against it. It would be incredibly difficult if someone was pregnant after being raped.
ReplyDeleteThat would be a horrible grey area I suppose.
After thinking about it, I guess two wrongs still don't make a right.
I think the best option would be to put the child up for adoption to someone who could give it the love and care it deserves.
Agreed. Lets hope that doesn't happen to often. It would be such a tough decision to make.
ReplyDeleteHey Kayleigh,
ReplyDeleteI've been asked the Hitler question before and that makes me so angry. Why? Well, let’s just say we had the power of foresight and with this knowledge; we killed Hitler at birth, FANTASTIC!!.....
But you know what? What about Saddam Hussein or Stalin? In fact! What about all the other murderers out there?
How about we go on this rampage killing all of those we deemed unworthy to live based on this knowledge? We would be doing the world justice right?
Can you see the irony?
It was Hitler who killed to create a race that that he saw as worthy.
So if we could Kill Hitler,
Kill all of them,
Aren’t we as horrible as him?
It was great reading your blog by the way.
Keep up the great writing.
Ive never even thought of it that way! your bring up a great point! and thank you! <3 :-)
ReplyDeletei love this post and i share your sentiments too..but as they say "cross the bridge when you come to it" we'll never know what life has in store for us ;) keep blogging!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
ReplyDeleteThe only condition you will stop to consider is rape?
ReplyDeleteMe, personally? If I were to get pregnant right now, and attempt to have the baby, there is a very HIGH possibility that the baby and I would both die in the process. My body right now is unfit to carry a baby. I don't think you're considering everything you need to consider.
And way to go on slut shaming. That was really amazing, what you did there.
If you read the comments above, i have considered health issues.
ReplyDeleteMe, personally? If i knew the baby would survive, i would chance death. Unless they were positive the baby wouldn't survive, then i would go through with the abortion. No point in losing two lives when you could have prevented it.