I forgot what i was going to write about...

I'm always rushing, my life is fast paced and not because it has to be but because its how i am. Getting ready for work i wait until the last minute to shower, do my hair, put my makeup on, dress, this is all a process and not a quick one. I try and make it as fast as possible, but i have so much hair that trying to make it look presentable isn't a quick and easy adventure.

Maybe its because I'm always in a rush, but usually I always end up being late since i misplace everything. I swear, if my head wasn't attached my body i would have lost it ages ago. I need to carry everything in my hands because the second i put it down, i don't know where it is. Even if i did keep it in my hands i still would be frantically tearing apart our apartment looking for it.

Am I to young to have old timers syndrome?

I'm that girl who puts her glasses on her head and searches for two hours until i finally realize I've had them the whole time. One time I was late for work looking for my phone only to find out it was in my back pocket. I'm the definition of a space case.

Its kind of sad. I went to the doctors the other day and one of the many questions they asked me was "How is your memory?" my answer "No better than usual."

This is how a conversation with me can go.

Person: "What did you do yesterday?"

Me: "Well, i woke up, blogged, went to work...i think. Came home from work and.....what was i saying?"

For all i know i could have been in a thrilling one on one duel with a huge fire-breathing dragon and her 5 vicious children and the next day i wouldn't be able to tell you anything about it because more likely than not, i wont remember.

I'm pretty sure I've left the house wearing the same clothes as the day before not being sure if it was the blue shirt, or the red shirt i wore yesterday. So then i just got with whatever i think looks good, which is usually the same thing i always wear. Oops.

I'm also that person who looses track of her thoughts. I'll be in the middle of a conversation or telling a story and i will completely forget the point, doesn't make for a good story. At least when i write blogs i can reread what i write so i don't lose track of the topic. Even though sometimes I'm pretty sure i still do it. Whatevs.

Being a waitress I'm surprised I'm not terrible at it. If i didn't write everything down i would be. Some people i work with don't have to write anything down, they can listen to peoples orders and remember exactly what they wanted. If i even attempted to do that i think my brain might explode, that would call for a lot of cleaning and paper work. Exploding brains in the restaurant business isn't necessarily considered sanitary.

Any who, recent events has made me realize that with every death comes a new life and i think that's the only thing keeping me from crying these past few days. I found out when i arrived home from Florida that one of my friends had passed away. He was a great guy and of course any passing is sad. On a happier note, my godson should be born either today or tomorrow, my friend called me to let me know her water broke and its about time since she was due on Sept 1st.

I've lost a friend, but I've gained a family member and all i can do now is celebrate the lives of two amazing people. One who unfortunately isn't here anymore, and a brand new life that i look forward to playing a huge part in.

Im sick of this insomnia...

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I think i need to see a doctor, but i hate going to the doctors. I don't think I'm depressed, or maybe i am. It does run in my family.

I want to be able to get up early in the morning so i can enjoy my day. Instead I've not been able to sleep till 6am, which means i sleep my day away by waking up at 230pm to an apartment thats still a mess from my birthday and i never have time to clean it because i get up right in time so start preparing myself ready for work.

What kind of life is that?

Not a life i want to be living thats for sure.

Its not like i don't try. I go to bed usually around 11. But when i try to fall asleep i start to sweat, but the fan is on, so i take the covers off and then I'm to cold. After a while of fidgeting with the blankets i get thirsty, so i get up and grab a drink. Then i have to pee so i use to the bathroom, i snuggle back into bed and start getting restless.

I get this feeling in my legs where i have to move them, and not just move them, i need to make my muscles hurt or else I'm going to be shaking my legs all night long. When i finally realize that nothing is working, i think maybe i can make my eyes tired by watching TV or playing with my IPhone. I do this for a few hours and then try to get to sleep, but instead the cycle begins all over again until about 6am when i can finally fall into a not-so deep slumber. A.k.a I wake up about every hour on the dot, then once i believe I've gotten enough rest...anywhere between 6 and 8 hrs later I get up and realize that this is pathetic.

I don't want to go to work, i want to stay home and clean because maybe, just maybe it will help. But i doubt cleaning will resolve my sleeping problems.