Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Im sick of this insomnia...
I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I think i need to see a doctor, but i hate going to the doctors. I don't think I'm depressed, or maybe i am. It does run in my family.
I want to be able to get up early in the morning so i can enjoy my day. Instead I've not been able to sleep till 6am, which means i sleep my day away by waking up at 230pm to an apartment thats still a mess from my birthday and i never have time to clean it because i get up right in time so start preparing myself ready for work.
What kind of life is that?
Not a life i want to be living thats for sure.
Its not like i don't try. I go to bed usually around 11. But when i try to fall asleep i start to sweat, but the fan is on, so i take the covers off and then I'm to cold. After a while of fidgeting with the blankets i get thirsty, so i get up and grab a drink. Then i have to pee so i use to the bathroom, i snuggle back into bed and start getting restless.
I get this feeling in my legs where i have to move them, and not just move them, i need to make my muscles hurt or else I'm going to be shaking my legs all night long. When i finally realize that nothing is working, i think maybe i can make my eyes tired by watching TV or playing with my IPhone. I do this for a few hours and then try to get to sleep, but instead the cycle begins all over again until about 6am when i can finally fall into a not-so deep slumber. A.k.a I wake up about every hour on the dot, then once i believe I've gotten enough rest...anywhere between 6 and 8 hrs later I get up and realize that this is pathetic.
I don't want to go to work, i want to stay home and clean because maybe, just maybe it will help. But i doubt cleaning will resolve my sleeping problems.