Id rather pee outside

Yesterday I found out the floor in our bathroom was crooked and my boyfriend and I would have to use the upstairs bathroom.

Which is fine.

If i didn't find it awkward using his fathers bathroom, who i barely ever speak with.

If i haven't mentioned this before I live with my boyfriend, who lives in his fathers basement. Its not just a basement, its a finished apartment, but his father comes down every now and then to get into the garage and what-not.

I hardly ever frequent the upstairs apartment.

This morning I slept in late since i was kept up all night by coughing and sneezing from a cold i'm never going to get rid of and an ear that wont pop back to normal, only to wake up with a text message telling me about our bathroom floor.

Whatever, no biggy, i can deal with it for a couple days.

So his dad comes downstairs today and come to find out our entire bathroom floor is rotted.

YAYY!!


Now they are going to rip apart our bathroom and i have to get over my fear of taking a dump in someones house i rarely talk to.
What if i have to pee at 2am? I pee and awful lot. I probably have bladder problems and am way too much of   a pussy to go to the doctor and get it checked out. I would rather pee in the comfort of my own apartment, a journey which takes only a few minutes out of my life. But now i have to venture up the stairs into the unknown just to take a pee.

I always dreamed of how convenient my life would be if i were a dude, but now more than ever do i wish i had a penis. I could take a quick walk outside, aim for a good spot, shake it off and be on my way. However, being a girl i need to find a quite spot where no one would notice and pop a squat to do the girl version of shaking it off, which is no where near as clean as the guy version of shaking it off.

I'm kind of a hygiene freak, i use a paper towel to open doors of public restrooms. I have an entire public restroom routine which I wont get into right now.

Anywho, on a more positive note I guess this will make it easier to remodel our now "closet sized" bathroom into something more comfortable.

Is it bad that i don't give a shit right now and would rather be able to use my own bathroom than walk into the unknown world of my boyfriends fathers house?

Oh well, I got a high five from his dad earlier when the boyfriend accompanied me on a successful peeing mission.

I should have been on a pull-ups commercial. I could hear there thoughts singing "I'm a big kid now!"

Birds of a feather...pee together?

Last night I went out with my boyfriend and some friends...whats new right?

And once again I find myself a pee friend. Why is it that girls need to have company while going to the bathroom?

I do it all the time, so I'm not judging.

Its not like we need any help, we are all grown adults and know how to use a toilet. It just happens.

After a few drinks our bladders fill up, we try to hold it until the last second because you know once you break the seal its all done for the night and your gonna be going every ten minutes. But once you gotta go you start asking if any of your friends need to go too. (You need someone to hold your drink for you. Its kind of tough to pee in a public restroom and hold your drink at the same time)

You then proceed to the bathroom, where there usually is more than one stall but always end up in the handicap because its bigger..

This is when the gossip starts, once we are in the bathroom there is no one to listen to us (except a few fellow bladder relievers). So we start talking about whatever comes to our minds, our own personal friend pee therapy.

We mention other people at the bar, the hot guys, the bitches, the sluts, our day, normal girl talk. Then we fix ourselves up, wash our hands, check our teeth, hair and makeup in the mirror and strut our stuff on back to the bar.

And in my case usually as im talking it up my friend decides to have a photoshoot of me on the toilet...I couldn't tell you how many pee pictures i have of myself that i keep locked away safe in my computer away from public view.

I wonder if its our subconscious preparing us for a ninja bathroom attack. Figure if we are together we'll have more chance of surviving...even though unless i have a friend who is a black belt in some type of martial arts i don't know about, i don't think we would stand a chance against ninjas.

Maybe zombies? I could take a zombie down in the bathroom with my girls. But then again I overestimate my strength when I've put down a few tequila shots, and im pretty sure ive never had a sober group peeing session.