Id rather pee outside

Yesterday I found out the floor in our bathroom was crooked and my boyfriend and I would have to use the upstairs bathroom.

Which is fine.

If i didn't find it awkward using his fathers bathroom, who i barely ever speak with.

If i haven't mentioned this before I live with my boyfriend, who lives in his fathers basement. Its not just a basement, its a finished apartment, but his father comes down every now and then to get into the garage and what-not.

I hardly ever frequent the upstairs apartment.

This morning I slept in late since i was kept up all night by coughing and sneezing from a cold i'm never going to get rid of and an ear that wont pop back to normal, only to wake up with a text message telling me about our bathroom floor.

Whatever, no biggy, i can deal with it for a couple days.

So his dad comes downstairs today and come to find out our entire bathroom floor is rotted.

YAYY!!


Now they are going to rip apart our bathroom and i have to get over my fear of taking a dump in someones house i rarely talk to.
What if i have to pee at 2am? I pee and awful lot. I probably have bladder problems and am way too much of   a pussy to go to the doctor and get it checked out. I would rather pee in the comfort of my own apartment, a journey which takes only a few minutes out of my life. But now i have to venture up the stairs into the unknown just to take a pee.

I always dreamed of how convenient my life would be if i were a dude, but now more than ever do i wish i had a penis. I could take a quick walk outside, aim for a good spot, shake it off and be on my way. However, being a girl i need to find a quite spot where no one would notice and pop a squat to do the girl version of shaking it off, which is no where near as clean as the guy version of shaking it off.

I'm kind of a hygiene freak, i use a paper towel to open doors of public restrooms. I have an entire public restroom routine which I wont get into right now.

Anywho, on a more positive note I guess this will make it easier to remodel our now "closet sized" bathroom into something more comfortable.

Is it bad that i don't give a shit right now and would rather be able to use my own bathroom than walk into the unknown world of my boyfriends fathers house?

Oh well, I got a high five from his dad earlier when the boyfriend accompanied me on a successful peeing mission.

I should have been on a pull-ups commercial. I could hear there thoughts singing "I'm a big kid now!"

Thats the shittiest pick up line i have.

Every couple fights.

If they say otherwise its a lie.

Sometimes, it takes a while. The first year my boyfriend and I were together we never fought, we had little tiffs here and there but nothing i would consider a "good" couple fight.

I however, don't know how many couples who fight over the things we fight about.

Things such as, the speed of light.

As i mentioned briefly in my previous blog post, the boyfriend thinks i either broke or bruised his ribs. We'll never really know for sure since he's terrified of the doctors and assures me "They wont do anything if they're broken anyway." So for now, he's just suffering through the pain.

Why did this happen, you ask?

I'm sure immediately some people would think "Maybe they got a little too hot and heavy in the sack." I know about all those dirty minds out there, i would have thought the same thing.

However, I am not that kinky and I'm not entirely sure he is either.

So no my friends. To your disappointment I'm not going to explain in extreme detail how i may have broken my boyfriends ribs during some amazingly strange sexual activity.  

Strange because I don't ever see myself breaking body parts during ANY kind of sexual contact, whatsoever.

And amazing because well...

If you've done that before, you must have been really, really....really into it.  Kudos

Any who, after a couple of relaxing hours watching Thor and drinking wine I started to think about how cool it would be to travel at the speed of light.  

You know.

Visit other planets, see about life in places besides earth. Lets face it, with all the other shit out there we have yet to discover, there's no way the only living and breathing beings are the ones that inhabit this wonderful planet of ours we call earth.

That's when I decide, what a good idea it would be to discuss the topic with my boyfriend!

Probably not such a good idea.

"Well, that isn't gonna happen" he says.

DUH! I know not in our lifetime (as much as i wish), but eventually..why not? They never knew we would be flying airplanes or driving cars a million years ago.  That's a few steps in the right direction from the stone ages, isn't it?

All i can think about is the Flintstones and their foot-powered vehicles

So why couldn't someone hundreds of years from now discover a way to travel into space? Without it taking us many years to get to a planet we may not yet know of.

Tom, my boyfriend, then starts going on and on about "The force of gravity ..wua wua wua wua...whiplash .."

ooohh look, there is a shiny light

"and ..wua wua wua wua bladdy bladdy blah."

All this gibberish basically boiled down to what happens to a body in a car that goes from 0 to 60mph in a second. Even if we could figure out how to travel at the speed of light, can we prevent a person from being crushed by the force of an object going from 0mph to 670,616,629mph while we are sitting inside of it? There are such things as seat belts, but that's pretty fucking fast.

However, I don't care about all the "technicalities" of it, I know I'm not going to be the one to do it, but someday an actual intelligent person might come along and figure it out.

Maybe by then, we would have connected with some superior alien being that gives us the technology to build our own space-time machine.

We could be the alien visitors at other planets!

A girl can dream.

Here is where it gets intense, we start spattering on about it for a few minutes when he points his finger directly in my face.

Immediately my mind goes into-snap yo fingers in a zee formation-mode and can't help but retaliate by waving my fingers all up in his face dawg. Being just as easily angered as i am, is where the wrestling match begins.

"Tom pins Kayleigh down as she proceeds to push and kick him repeatedly in the ribs. Trying take control of the madness, he attempts to gain control of her flailing legs. IT DOESNT WORK, SHE BREAKS FREE! He finally realizes this might go to far and...and....

they stop."


With heavy breathing after the unexpected turn of events "Now that was an intense one Bobby!"

Yeah George, I guess no one wins the debate over the speed of light.

I honestly don't know if they even have announcers during wrestling matches.

I haven't watched one since i was about seven but, i imagine if they did, that would be how it went down.

The two of us might be the epitome of a "nerd" couple. I don't know many men and women who get into body-breaking throw downs over traveling more than, or at the speed of light.

He realized how ridiculous this was the next morning when i received an apology text. Even though I'm sure it was as much  my fault as his. It usually takes guys a lot longer to comprehend how stupid fights are until way after the woman figures it out.

Whatever, at least he figured it out in the first place. It also helps he still has the ability to make me laugh no matter the situation.

"Are you an enema."

"No, why?

"Because whenever I'm around you i don't feel so shitty."

A rumbling vibration burps out of his ass hole, after a few moments of extreme laughter...

at himself, he informs me

"That's the shittiest pick up line i have"

Oh really?

Thanks a lot for that babe. Your great.