Fuck the milk, Give me the whiskey tits!

One of my best friends (we'll say her name is Susan) recently found out she is pregnant! YAY!! I'M GONNA BE AN AUNTIE!!! she gets to find out the sex only a few days before my birthday! And I cant wait! I hope she realizes im going to be stealing her child away from her frequently.

Have i ever told you how much i love kids? I was supposed to be the godmother of two former best friends children, one ended up telling me she chose someone else while i was holding her baby in the delivery room (Nice huh?) and the other one decided she was going to continue to be the bitch that she is and end our friendship.

Which was fine with me because she was a terrible person anyways, needless to say we are now friends once again and she tells me she regrets our breakup and the fact that I'm not the godmother of her child. (sucks that you blew it huh bitch?)

Not to mention that I've wanted to be a mother myself ever since i was old enough to play house, if there is even an age limit for games like that.

So you cant even imagine my excitement when Susan told me she was expecting, and along with that amazing news she also talked to me about possibly having the pleasure being the godmother, which was a shock all in its own. 

We have had our ups and downs in the few years we have been friends but we always seem to pull through. When we are hanging out it feels as if we have been friends for waaayy longer than we actually have. I also like the fact that she is honest with me, unlike my other friends if she isn't sure of something she isn't going to get someones hopes up for no reason at all. So I'm thankful she told me it was between me or her sister in law, i could have named at least 5 people i would have thought she would choose before choosing me. And when she told me i tried so hard to keep my smile from taking over my face. (Dont want to get to excited just in case) 

She explained to me her requirements, everything she named is what i would assume a godmothers duty would be anyways. I dont have any myself, but if i did this is what i would think would be asked of me...

Be in her kids life for longer than a few years, at least phone calls on birthdays etc. Even if i wasn't the godmother i would do those things, and if I'm the one ill be there for more than just phone calls.

I cant wait to taking him or her to the park, chuck e cheese (you know you cant get in there without a kid under a certain age limit!) and i really want to help her decorate the babies room, since unfortunately I'm not expecting anything but my period next month. I need something to look forward to besides a bleeding vagina and terrible cramps!

What bothers me the most is how she was telling me about the people who just volunteer themselves to be the godparent.

First of all its her baby not yours.

Second of all, you never tell a mother whats best for her child, its her kid not yours, get over it. If she decides Lindsay Lohan is the best fucking role model in her kids life, then guess what...you don't have shit to say about it. 

I just think its disrespectful of people to volunteer themselves into someones life when the mother and father want to make there own decisions not influenced by anyone elses feelings or opinions.

Are you gonna name the baby for them too? Didn't think so.

Apparently this happens more often than i thought. There are a few pregnant women i know this year who have had friends of theres volunteer themselves. Again disrespectful, its no ones responsibility or business to appoint a godmother but the parents themselves.

Since i strayed away from my excitement of possibly being a godmother by going on a rant about dumb bitches, ill go back to saying how excited I am! She isn't due until September, but i already know as soon as she finds out the sex I'm gonna be looking at baby clothes (and of course those ridiculous shirts you find online or at Spencers that say things like "fuck the milk, give me the whiskey tits.") If she doesn't want him or her to go out in public wearing them its fine, they can be at home funny comfy baby clothes. I'm sure ill be taking plenty of pictures!