Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Suck on this...

Finally got caught up on this season of True Blood.

Already caught up in the book series and now i wait patiently for the last of them to come out. Until then i have the show to watch, which is beyond excellent since Alexander Skarsgard plays one sexy beast of an Eric Northman, Anna Paquin is a lucky lady.

Oh Sookie you whore, dreaming about threesomes with two sexy old vamps. If only I had your life.

Speaking of which, anyone else remember good old Sookie Stackhouse from Fly Away Home?

Before this series began I never thought in a million years i would be watching crazy hot sex scenes starring the girl who played Amy. Kind of creepin me out. Whenever I see her I imagine her running down the field with ducks trying to teach them how to fly.

Fly duckies, fly!

Any who, this whole vampire craze remind me of why I'm so intrigued by the idea of becoming one of these undead.

First of all, you get to live forever as long as you can avoid getting a stake driven through your heart. I wanna be fucking invincible so i figure as long as i stay away from sharp wooded objects and silver, i should be fine.

I don't want to die, I'm terrified of death. I don't know whats going to happen once i leave this earth and no matter what people may say happens, their is never any real hard evidence. I'm not going to know what happens after I die, until i die, and i want to try and keep that adventure as far in the future as possible. I'm content with staying in a world i already know rather then venture into the unknown world of the definitely dead.

Then we have the whole mind controlling business, if you're a vampire you're fucking top of the food chain. Forget the Lion King, vampires kill the lion before they can catch a scent. They mean business and can tell people weaker than themselves what to do and the dummies have no choice but to listen.

I can round up all the people that annoy the fuck out me and make them my bitch.

Third they get awesome teeth. A nice new set of pearly white daggers, people start giving you shit you flash some fang and everyone runs in a panic. Unless they are stupid, because being a vampire they also have the ability to rip their precious hearts out.

"You listen to me, or ill remove your head and shove it up your fart hole just because i can."

Last we have flying, not only do you get all these other crazy abilities such as super human strength and speed but these mother fuckers can fly. It's like you'd be superman, but dead and so much cooler. Vampires aren't bullet proof or anything but they can heal themselves and fast.

Much easier than going through all this health insurance bull cacapoo.

Sure i would miss the sun. Summer is my favorite time of year and i love being tan, but i can love the moon and the stars at night just as much.